It has taken me a long time to find the right words to put in this letter to you. With over twelve years in full-time ministry I have had the opportunity to hear the stories of hundreds of men, both young and old, that have included victory and loss. Many men struggle with their identity. It took me a long time to find mine. Father’s Day brings a lot of emotions for many. I have wanted to be a Father for a long time, but I have not yet been given that opportunity. If I was your Father, this is what I would say to you. I pray in some way that these words will encourage you and maybe bring some healing if it’s needed.
The first thing that God put on my heart to share with you, regardless of whether you are a brother, friend, uncle, dad, boss, boyfriend, cousin, husband, etc.…
1. You are a son first.
Some of you had an incredible relationship with your biological mom and dad, but some of you never got that opportunity. When I say you are a son first, I am referring to you being a son of God. God created you. God called you to do incredible things. And regardless of what hats that you have to wear on any given day, don’t forget that son of God is the greatest title that you will ever carry. If you really start believing this, it will change your life. It changed mine.
2. Your value is not found in what you produce.
Some men settle for less than God’s best in their relationships because they don’t think that they deserve anything better. Some live in regret because their life did not go in the direction that they had hoped for. And some question their purpose when their lives at this point do not include a particular home, wife, job, child, etc. Your value is not found in what you produce. You are not second rate because your path up until this point does not include a perfect marriage in a perfect home with a perfect white picket fence that wraps around the perimeter of a perfect life that includes perfect kids and a perfect dog named fluffy.
Nobody lives a perfect life, but God offers us a pretty amazing one once we realize that His opinion of us does not change based off of the list of our so-called accomplishments. He is trying to love you well, but in order for you or me or anyone to fully embrace all that He has for us, we need to stop trying to live up to this fictitious standard of a successful life.
You are God’s son first. It is time to start living like this is true, because it is true.
Your value is not found in what you produce. Your job title, bank account, bench press or vehicle are not good measures of success. The amount of women that you spend time with on a mattress does not make you a man. You have been called to do great things, but don’t limit the possibilities of what your life could be. You were made for more than just checking things off of a list. You were made for more than trying to please the opinion of other people.
Last but certainly not least, I want you to receive God’s words for your life.
When you feel like you have no value remember, “The very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Luke 12:7
When you feel like you were an accident remember, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” Jeremiah 1:5
When you feel like God has forgotten about you remember, “See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.” Isaiah 49:16
When you question your purpose remember, “For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
When you feel exhausted remember Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
When things get crazy and you get overwhelmed remember, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
When you feel hopeless and too far gone remember, “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear.” Isaiah 59:1
When you question if you are good enough or tough enough remember, “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14
When you feel like your situation is beyond repair remember, "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27
When you feel like your future has been compromised by bad decisions or circumstances remember, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,” Ephesians 3:20
Regardless of what emotions Father's Day brings your way, I pray that this letter breaks through the noise of this world. Maybe your life has not gone as planned. Welcome to the club. God is not finished with your story. You are God’s son. You are loved. You are valued. God has a plan for your life and your value is not found in what you produce. Don’t do life alone. God is mindful. Don’t settle. Be encouraged, son. The world is waiting for men of integrity and humility to step up to the plate. You’re up. Your best days are ahead. Keep breathing.
PS. If you know someone that could benefit from these words, feel free to share them.