Have you ever heard someone talk about burning the candle at both ends? I want to share a different perspective.
Several years ago I was discussing a huge step of faith with my grandfather. I was leaving a great position in ministry at my home church to move over 3 hours away. A lot of my family and friends were concerned, including my grandfather.
Not only did the move leave me paying for a home that took almost 3 years to sell, my new adventure put me in a position where I was working 80+ hours a week at 2 different jobs just to get by. It seemed crazy. It was actually! But I knew God was in the move even if no one else could see it.
But it was really hard to hear my grandfather, who planted churches, preached all over the country and walked by faith most of his life tell me that he didn't think that this was what God was calling me to do.
I knew, I could not preach, teach and sing about faith if I was not willing to walk it out. The bible reminds us that without faith it is impossible to please God.
Fast forward two years later and I am preaching on a Sunday morning at a new church that the Lord opened the door for me to serve in. Some of my family, including my grandfather came down to hear me preach.
While we were at lunch after service, he shared words with me that I will never forget. Pap asked me to forgive him. He said he could not see it, but now it was obvious.
Pap told me to never disregard the fact that God gave me the faith to trust that while I was working and focusing on the candle burning on one end of my life, God was working on the other end. And that when those two ends came together, that was the intersection of my faith and God's will.
Moving to the eastern shore of Delaware took a lot of faith. 3+ hours away from home and only having a relationship with 3 people there was something! Then moving 1000 miles to Florida felt so crazy, even I wondered if I was losing my mind. And maybe the biggest move of all, leaving the beautiful state of Florida where we were almost neighbors with Mickey Mouse to move to York, PA to plant Daybreak Church.
With all of those steps of faith came fear, doubt and uncertainty. I always thought I was a safe and reserved person. How did I get myself into this crazy life??
Without a shadow of a doubt I can say since I surrendered my life to Christ, I have no regrets about any steps of faith that I have taken. God never walked away, and He always provided.
Now I'm sitting at a diner with no one across from me, getting ready to figure out what I am going to do with my final full paycheck from the second job that I just quit, by faith. I'm looking at the daunting task of getting healthy and rebuilding my life on the back end of the most devastating year of my life thus far. I'm processing thoughts and feelings that I never even thought that I would be entertaining and nothing seems familiar.
But God is here. Moving forward with my life feels like the biggest step of faith that I have ever taken. The winds are more intense, the water is choppier and the risks seem even greater, but I know that while I am focusing on this end of the candle, God is busy on the other end.
There is so much to navigate and so much work to be done. But while I find myself on the operating table in the hands of The Great Physician I can see that the shattered pieces have finally been gathered and are being prepared for reconstruction.
I am more hopeful then I have ever been for my life. I feel like I have done the best that I could possibly do to respond with love and faith this year. I do not know what forward looks like, but I am finally getting back up and heading that direction. I know that God is with me. I know that He is not finished with my story and I am trusting that once again my faith and His will are going to intersect. The future looks good.
If your end looks crazy, please keep breathing. God is working on the other end, and if you don't give up, eventually your faith and His will, will connect. God is far greater at connecting the dots then we ever could be. I am so, so thankful for that. Be encouraged. (Post from December 16th, 2016)