Last year my brother gave me this journal for my birthday. In it I wrote down dreams, goals and vision for 2016 for my family, for me and for Daybreak Church.
In May my world got completely flipped upside down. I felt like the enemy won. Clearly, I lost. My heart was left in pieces and my nights have been filled with prayers, questions, tears and loneliness. What's the point of vision if you are not sure if you can keep going?? I could not see past my pain. In May I ripped those pages out.
I tried to drive and find my bed after a full Thanksgiving day with family, but my heart would not let me. It's now 3 am and after some time in a local diner with my headphones in and a pen in my hand, this journal has new words in it. They are bigger than me.
This year has brought me to the most critical intersections of my life thus far. At every intersection, Jesus has showed up. I was broken and still on the ground trying to figure out how to catch my breath when God told me to get back up. And now, more words have been written.
I have decided that I am going to stop waiting to live. I am going to rebuild my life in Jesus name. I am going to keep breathing. I am going to continue to shout, don't do life alone until I have nothing left in me. I am going to get back up. The pain will not be wasted.
My new year will not start January 1st. My new year starts today. The chapters in my life over the next 365 days will be bookended by Thanksgiving Day 2016 and Thanksgiving Day 2017.
Today is the day. Today is day 1. God is not done with my story. God is not done with your story. What are you waiting for? (Post from November 25th, 2016)